Friday, November 29, 2013

It’s basketball season again…the time of year when we see the best and worst from parents, students and coaches in pursuit of athletic excellence and the “dream”. That old line from "On the Waterfront” when Marlon Brando’s character, Terry Malloy says to his brother, “I could a had class. I could a been a contender. I could a been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am”, comes to mind as I watch as a basketball official, gifted athletes running up and down the hardwood in pursuit of their “dream”.

You remember; Terry thought his brother should have taken better care of him when he was young and pursuing a career as a prizefighter. You have to wonder when you see these kids of today, so athletically gifted, so polite during a pre-game conference and yet sometimes, so neglected…who’s taking care of their dream? Who’s ensuring that they have a chance at being a ‘contender”, a “somebody”? Our high school coaches are many times in the roll of Terry’s brother. They are either helping a student pursue the “dream” of becoming an athlete with a scholarship to look forward to or stepping in as a “parent” when none exists at home. Some are better at this than others, putting the student first and realizing sports for these kids must be a means to an end or they will end up like so many others on the chain link nets of the playground.

Others use the student to reach their own personal dream, that of a State Championship. Academics are negotiated, grades are given and the chain link nets tinkle with anticipation as another player comes their way. Many parents also fall into the chain link trap, thinking basketball skills will eventually pay the bills. They blink as their child brings home grades he/she cannot be capable of making in the tenth grade. But this has gone on so long it’s routine now and there’s no turning back. It’s the dream or nothing for their athlete/student. The next time a nice day rolls around in Macon, Savannah or Atlanta head for a local park and watch as these former gifted high school athletes play basketball on the chain link nets.

Some are unemployed, some coming out of rehab, wondering where that next child support payment will come from, others doing well and there for a good game of basketball or just a little exercise. Others are burning off the frustration of a week spent looking for work that doesn’t exist because many times they were pursuing a “dream” that never materialized at the expense of preparing for a life outside the sports arena. We’re doing these kids a tremendous disservice when we let them fall into the trap of “the dream” without insisting they pursue excellence in academics as well. Visit a coaches “chalk” session and watch as the players give him/her their undivided attention for as long as it takes to understand the game plan to be used against an opponent that week. You won’t see any sleeping in that “class”. I’ve often thought that if we as parents don’t give our children a vision of what they can become they will be given a vision by someone else. A vision we may not care for or one that may not be in the best interest of our child.

After all, who knows them better than us? It’s so easy to fall into the “chain link trap”, the one calling these young men from the recreation centers around the country into high school and then a life of constantly wondering what happened…what happened to the “dream”. I write this in memory of so many great guys I remember playing basketball with on those chain link nets. The New Yorkers with those great dribbling and ball handling skills, the guys from Philly who could pass and stressed teamwork on the court and the west coast pretty boys who could do it all. A wonderful bunch of characters who deserved better than they got.  

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