It seems we just can’t avoid inflated political egos or recessions. But, while many of you are experiencing this for the first time, there are signs portending recession that are easily recognizable. Recessions are simply a contraction of sorts, similar to the shrinkage of previously dirty underwear when you’re drying them and turn the dial to the left side instead of the more conservative drying time on the right. Your underwear felt really good for a few weeks and then one day you got the bright idea to wash, dry and shrink it. Trying it on for another stretch, you find yourself in the middle of a recession and looking at your image in the mirror you see a bloated Michael Moore staring back. Now you’re all about losing weight, exercising (how boring) and getting back into your recessed former self. Depressing at best and now you can see why…some of your stuff is getting smaller making your other stuff look bigger. It may look the same but after the underwear takes a liberal turn in the dryer it’s got your stomach looking like a helium party balloon.

So the question is, who’s handling your dirty little recession problem, and are they qualified or not? My wife insists on doing the laundry at our house. I don’t do the dryer well, sometimes using the left side when I shouldn’t. We no doubt have guys in D.C. who are trying to dry their own clothes when they should let their wives or a professional handle the underwear. Then, at the very least, they could avoid recession in their own homes. While I don’t mind them playing with laws and such, I wouldn’t let nary one of them handle my underwear for a couple of reasons; it would probably shrink and sooner or later they’d find a way to have it done overseas, which would cost me a bundle. Although I must admit, imagining Barney Franks in a local laundromat watching his underwear go round and round is not a difficult stretch. However, there seems to be enough dirty laundry being aired out in D.C. as it is, so Barney probably has his done out of town. Then again, if our “leaders” are not paying their taxes they’re probably not too concerned about keeping their underwear clean in the first place.

Makes you wonder where ol’ Tommy Daschle took his when his tax returns became public. You know those privies needed some “professional” care. One thing’s for sure, whoever is in charge of the underwear at his house is “all washed up”. It’s amazing how these guys can go around in dirty underwear and think no one is going to discover they smell like road kill on an August afternoon. On a sad note, there doesn’t appear to be any way to fix a recession unless we all wear thongs, stay away from mirrors or learn how to use the dryer. Of course you could hold your breath or have a yard sale. And, as everyone knows, underwear usually ends up as rags. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could “write off” your old underwear? So the problem for we, the electorate, seems to be how to identify members of congress who are obviously trying to do their own laundry and keep their shorts clean, while experiencing a recession. You can often spot them as they waddle up for a photo opportunity, looking like their shorts are too tight. They are. You can also recognize them when they use the phrase, “the fact is”. A “fact is” politician is in the deep throes of recessed underwear. I suppose President Obama would wear Michael Jordan Haynes, making him susceptible to a small amount of recession and our Speaker of the House, Pelosi obviously wears “granny panties”, making her equally susceptible to shrinkage. Recession is nothing new. It comes and goes depending on who’s doing the laundry.