August 19th Published

I’m writing this from a safe, comfortable porch, surrounded by glass with a view of a calm neighborhood near the beautiful Gulf of Mexico and if I could, I would get down on my knees (they’re worn out) and thank God for a safe, calm place in which to work. I would thank Him for two parents who had opportunity and instilled in me the will/ability to become educated, think for myself, lead more than follow, guide others in thought, work with wonderful people and enjoy family. I could no more let someone with a bullhorn tell me what to do than spit across the Gulf. But it’s amazing to me how many of us are forced to do just that. I have a moral compass, instilled in me by a father who worked long hours as a policeman and still found the time to let me know I was loved and watched talked to and laughed with and watched again. And, if I listen carefully, which sometimes I do not, the compass he gave me will keep me on a true north path. He was the most ethical non-church goer I’ve ever known and the “still small voice” I hear comes as much from him as it does from God, which is important to know. But I digress. What we see in Ferguson, is a missed opportunity by people with no leadership. They are disenfranchised, leaderless, disillusioned, confused and very frustrated people with no hope. They get up every morning of every day in the same state of hopelessness and when something like the Brown shooting gives them the ability to be heard, they take it. They know that when all is said and done, when the police leave, when the trial is over (if there is one) when the positive remarks of Captain Johnson of the State Police are no longer there to be heard they will once again be in the same economic and educational state they were in before it all began.  Their lives are filled with fear of what tomorrow will bring, an uncertainty about their future and that of their children, a “heat” that only living in their environment can bring in August and constant worry about loved ones unprotected. They follow anyone with a bullhorn, anyone with an idea for a way out, temporary though that may be, it is a respite from what tomorrow must bring. The knowing that tomorrow will be as today is, filled with despair. They look for identity, a way to be different among the crowd they secretly cannot trust but must live within for there is no way out. A tattoo, a symbol, a way of dressing, anything to set them apart to say, this is who I am, I am different and not the way you see me. The mothers weep for their children, worry, anguish fills their lives as they see that generation after generation has seen no way out. Leadership comes but it’s not enough. Churches are filled but somehow the message is missed and what is that message?  Self-reliance is preached but somehow there is no help from an absent father who is seeking his own respite. And so it goes until the next incident when there is opportunity to once again say, “Here we are, we need help but from where will it come?” There is no MLK and there does not appear to be one on the horizon, only opportunists.  And so, in mass, they are confronted with police who have no choice but to follow orders to restore order and so-called leaders who feed them to the wolves for ratings and personal gain. The shooting of Michael Brown, justified or not, was an opportunity for voices to be heard, not sirens, fears to be assuaged, not increased,  hate to be starved, not fed , grievances to be addressed not addresses looted. The slogan, “No justice no peace” is as much a cry for attention for the young black male’s plight as anything else. It says, “You leave us no choice, no way out and we want to be heard.”  The most important single element in the life of a young male, black or white is the father. We thought we were smart when we said, “It’s not the quantity of time we spend with our sons, it’s the quality”. Remember that little tidbit of B.S.? Do not be deceived. A son needs to know dad is somewhere in the house every time he comes home, regardless of the hour, to put that still small voice in a young man who is unaware that, as President Obama told the Iraq’s, “The wolf is at the door.” Perhaps he should have saved that analogy for Ferguson.

It Only Takes One

Yes, we turned five guys loose whose sole mission in life is to kill us. We’re going to trust Qatar for one year as to where they are and what they are doing. But, not to worry, if they’re doing something John Kerry deems inappropriate he will simply have them eliminated. I’m fine with the last part of the deal but I wonder what we’re thinking turning these five loose in the first place. Will you explain to me what it is they do for a living? Will they go back to being plumbers, electricians, cab drivers or perhaps a teacher in a college classroom somewhere? What was it they did in the years before they were discovered plotting and in some cases carrying out crimes against humanity? How does one go from being a killer to once again fixing faucets? It seems as though the latter would be very boring after the former. Did they learn to love us while spending time at Gitmo? After all, they had dentists, doctors, nutritionists and others looking after their every need for ten plus years. Perhaps they changed their minds about us. 

Maybe they want to explore capitalism, democracy or some other American way. Is it possible that, after additional rehabilitation, a writing career or the lecture circuit is in the cards? Our retired politicians and those wanting to get ahead use this approach all the time. Maybe a stint as a political reporter or being a panelist on a news program would fill their desire to be more involved politically. Sometimes people such as these just want to be loved. Who knows…conversion to the Catholic faith, the missionary fields? How about working at the Carter Center? With a clean slate and the forgiveness available through the protestant church, building houses for Habitat for Humanity would put their carpentry skills to work not to mention their expertise with explosives when land needed to be cleared. No, the truth is they will have none of this because their mission, what really rings their bells and makes their day complete is the killing of innocents, and the controlling of every aspect of other peoples’ lives. Now that is something in which they can get excited. So when someone tells us that they will be good boys, going home and becoming productive members of society, I just cannot swallow it.  And if only one in three re-enter the world of terrorism, which one of those five will it be? Who will be the innocent victim of the “one”? Will it be the couple at the outdoor café, the innocent little girl walking home from a day at the market, or a party of wedding goers celebrating after the ceremony?

 Remember, one of these guys will not turn and relishes the thought of once again bringing his brand of “justice” to those who will have none of it. It’s that one, the one for whom rehabilitation was just time spent eating more good food, the one who thinks he can change the world by blowing it up. He’s the one I worry about… 

The one who doesn’t understand the awesomeness of a sunset seen with family, three dogs whose love is unconditional and a grandson who enjoyed his little red wagon yesterday.  He’s the one, and it only takes one. But we all know he’s not the only one.  Yes, Mr. Kerry believes all but one of those sent to Qatar will retire to lives filled with love and humanitarian efforts on behalf of the world. His view is simply foolish and he fails to see that they know nothing but mayhem and carnage in a world we should be out of as soon as possible. I failed to mention that a cooking show might be an option for one of the four but…naw, wouldn’t work out. What could they possibly have on the menu?

What is Wrong Here?

Let’s be clear. I didn’t purchase a single one of the dogs we now have living at the house. They were brought here by the woman I live with and her daughter. One came from a breeder, one from a pet store and one from the pound. The breeder and pet store dog barked from birth, and then taught the pound dog how to bark. Now, having perfected the skill, she’s taken it to the “next level” (how I hate that term) and out-barks the other two. Bottom line, they all bark for love and attention. One of our family tenets is to be as supportive as we can and encourage self-expression, self-esteem, and selflessness, while discouraging self-indulgence, the mother of all ails, according to a monk I once saw on television while watching “Robin Hood”. So the barking, as a means of self-expression, is allowed except when the child is asleep. Once the dogs understand this, peace will, once again, reign at home. If this sounds too strict allow me to continue by saying, the woman and her daughter can and do, bark just about any time they feel like it. When they bark at me I bark back and at any given time we can all be found barking with the dogs looking up as if to say, 

“What in the world is wrong with you people?” 

If the doorbell rings while we are barking, we all shut up at the same time. Amazing and yes, we allow that look to be used, but only by the dogs. In the meantime we have other things to worry about .The pound dog, already loaded with security issues, running from the broom, the vacuum cleaner and rain, became even more insecure when the other two (the dogs, not the people) decided they preferred segregation (even though all are the same color and the pound dog is probably the smartest) and wanted to be in their own room and alone. This I discouraged, feeling that they needed to learn how to live with one another in peace and harmony and not bark when the small child is sitting in the floor facing away from the television. He cannot, under any circumstances, be allowed to face the television as this would surely cause him to become obsessed with The Kardashians at an age when, well, his mother wants him to be able to feed and clothe himself eventually. Plus, the guy who used to be Bruce Jenner scares all of us. I’ve asked the dogs not to watch that show either, as it tends to disrupt the house training whenever the male feels compelled to “mark” Kanye on the Sanyo. This eliminates a major form of entertainment. 

It also requires one of us, the adults, to become the entertainment and once I get past babbling and gurgling that about does it. Next year we start tennis, golf or something with a ball involved. But I digress. I often wonder what caused the pound dog to be so insecure and afraid and I must conclude that she was indeed, abused. The interesting thing is that, of the three, she has taken to “Little Harmon” the best. Arriving on the scene the moment she hears a stressful cry or whimper, curling up by his bed, and doing other things to let us know she is a protector of something small and helpless. Something she was not privy to as a puppy. Well, you might say, “So goes the dynamics of the dysfunctional family.” But, sometimes, when watching our congress in in-action with all the barking, “marking” and crying I think, you know, these folks are not too different from us after all. I guess we’re all just looking for a little love and attention.

Duck Dynasty Controversy

Phil Robertson said some things a little differently than I might have said them but the First Amendment said he could say them any way he chose and so it’s done. The comments about gay folks, in particular were mighty graphic, but isn’t that considered an “alternative” lifestyle?  Phil thinks they’re all going to hell anyway but he thinks straight folks will too unless we follow the tenets of the New Testament. I’ve got enough trouble judging me most days and if there’s a judgment coming down the only one I’m really and I mean really concerned about…is mine. But, I do keep my sexual stuff where it belongs, in the twilight zone. I wish I had some sexual stuff to write about but if you’re looking for titillation you’re reading in the wrong place. I will say I enjoy the ladies on FOX NEWS but there are those who find Wolf Blitzer attractive. But I digress.  

Let’s look at an important issue Phil raised, that of the black “experience”, something I know nothing about because I’m white and have to look at it through white eyes. My white eyes saw the signs, the raggedy clothes, the walking on the side of the road for lack of a car, the looks of despair, confusion hate and envy, of the blacks in the sixties. Also the look that asked, “Why us?”  And I know that people my age remember and do grieve for those people, now mostly gone. But I cannot get inside those heads. Those that made do as humans but were seen as less than. Since then we have seen progress. A person would be a fool to not admit to that. The questions we need to ask now are “What do we want from each other, where do we go from here and how can we play together on team human?”  I think we want more than anything to be accepted and respected for who we are as humans.

Assuming I am right, we must get along. I don’t take exception to Robertson’s comments about his experience with blacks in dirt poor Louisiana, in the sixties. He wasn’t going home to television after a day in the fields…seeing riots in L.A., Chicago and Memphis. From what I read, he was as poor as the blacks with whom he worked. If one wants to judge the man with regard to race relations find out what he’s been doing since he got a television set.  And no, he probably didn’t have a newspaper either. He saw blacks through his personal prism. The media is putting way too much importance into what Phil Robertson said in the GQ interview but we’re smart enough to see that stuff sells.

Those of us who live in the south, blacks and whites, have come a long way, overcome a lot of “stuff” and we’re still at it. Still trying to like each other enough to give and take where it counts.  Still trying to get beyond the rhetoric of the race baiters and find a way to make our collective experiences work. Education as I’ve said before is the key to getting along with and respecting others. I’ve seen it.

I see it in a basketball coach name James Lundsford who takes young men (black and white) at GMC and insists they be on time, make good grades, respect each other, even referees (difficult task) and extols the virtues that will lead to success in life. This man’s “successes” are everywhere! I see it in Burt Williams, who takes college football players and students from all walks of life, and molds them into a unit capable of playing in a national championship football game. Their successes are based on a common team goal.

As we sit here on Christmas day with a new year approaching, my wish for each of us is to become part of a larger team, team human. When we do we will go a lot farther toward the goal of solving our many societal problems, the least of which is skin color.