Conservation

Where would we be today without the green folks, the conservationists who, like me, want to preserve the planet? Like my dad used to say, “Son, you’ll never know when it’s gonna stop raining or the sun runs out of gas.” I’ve been a green man for years, and have known many “greenies”, learning many of my conserving ways from dad. We always think of May as conservation month around here, making an effort to go just as far as possible into “Saunaville” without turning on the A.C.This year, after living in a hothouse full of mold for a month, we made it until May 12th. When your back sticks to your shirt, which is stuck to your chair, and every smell that has ever been in the house reveals itself, you know the A.C. fairy can’t be far away. There are other signs as well. The dogs pant near the A.C. air vents but since they must know nothing's coming out of there but the stench of dead bugs and fur balls, I think they do it just to make us feel guilty. Once in a while they look up as if to say, “If I had your brains I believe I’d turn on some A.C.”
Actually, I remember growing up when we didn’t have A.C. at all, and dad was as green as a cucumber. We had this wonderful contraption called an attic fan. It was in the hall ceiling and the blades must have been huge because they would turn ever so slowly and still bring air in through the windows. Very quiet it was, and all you would hear was the soft sound of hot air rushing into the attic. We had to be in bed around nine, except for Sunday nights when ice cream was on the menu. The ice cream was melted of course but I can tell you that was the best bowl of ice cream ever drunk. After that you had to go sweat in your bed until the blessed fan sucked in enough cool air from the outside. If that didn’t happen you’d either pass out from the heat or wait for a cool breeze to lull you to sleep around 2 AM.

Turning on the attic fan before the air outside turned cool was considered by dad to be un-green and once in a while you’d hear him holler, “Who turned on the d-mn fan!?” He didn’t much care for lights on in the summer either, said it made the house too hot. Except for using his belt on my brother (who deserved it) he saved on energy any way he could. Not one of us five kids would admit to turning on the fan. When I was around fifteen I learned a trick with that attic fan. You could lower your window to just a few inches above the sill and feel one heck of a breeze. One night, while adjusting it just right, I happened to spot two future leaders in the green movement, on the front porch next door. Mary Beth and Roger they were and about seventeen at the time. She got a window A.C. before we did but went green about that time also and chose to spend time outdoors on most evenings with Roger, her boyfriend, saving energy. I’ve always admired their sacrifice as they preferred sweating on the stoop to turning on the A.C. in her bedroom. I often wonder if she received some kind of green award for her efforts. I’m sure Roger got his just reward. Now days, when I hear the dogs panting, I think of these two pioneers in the green movement, conserving energy on the porch years ago.