America Deserves Better

I read an article in a “real man’s” magazine the other day suggesting things couples should think about when choosing a pet. Let her choose the size, it said, and then she might let you choose the breed.
The article didn’t mention the couples’ personalities and our dogs were not mentioned as preferred pets. Instead I read about the “recommended” Schnauzers and Pugs. After reading I figured “she” was probably going to choose both size and breed. Thankfully, our dogs didn’t read the article.

Hannah’s a small female dog whose idea of recreation is pulling the male, Hercules, through the house by his tail. This routine reminds me of taking trips years ago in the Ford station wagon’s reversed rear seat. Dad would be driving with mom up front and two of the five of us sitting in the rear seat.
Dad would say, “Look at that” when “that” was coming. Then we would get to see “that” as it was going. This was fun for about five miles of the 1,500-mile trip from Rapid City, S.D., to Knoxville, Tenn.
Dad sold that station wagon in Knoxville, because he was afraid we’d have a skewed view of the country if we rode in the rear seat on the return trip.

I must say, however, that particular Ford made it. As for Hercules, I don’t think he minds seeing things “out the rear window” as long as Hannah lets him eat first. He has other activities of which he’s fond, but I’m trying to get him to do those in private.
My wife’s a lot like Hannah and could be considered “gifted.” They both know what I’m going to do before I do it and they also know where my mind was when I did it.

The other day the wife said, “I can always tell when you’ve had a few libations, because you leave the toilet seat up.” If that’s not genius, I’m a wiener dog, and if she and Hannah were enrolled in public school today they would no doubt have access to textbooks.
Hannah no longer chases cars and can be trusted to be outside without a leash while my wife is content to sit and bark. My wife and I get along well because she sits to my right on the couch, next to my selective hearing ear. Sometimes she’s concerned with my not knowing whether I’m coming or she’s going but since we turned the couch around things have improved.

It would be interesting to me to know the types of dogs our “leaders” in Washington choose to have in their homes. They say people tend to pick dogs that are matched to their personalities, but if we look at some of these folks it’s clear that many dogs would prefer living at the pound.
One thing about a dog; you can tell it a lie and get away with it once or twice. After that, the dog doesn’t get mad — it simply ignores what you say.
And while dogs may not be concerned with social behavior, they do recognize fabrication (for lack of a better word) when they hear it.

Instead of getting upset with our policy makers when they seem to be seeing things in reverse, we should just ignore them at the polls. They may be seeing the world’s debris from the reversed rear seat, catching a glimpse as it roars by on the interstate of life and then deciding to decide. Or they may be like me, not knowing whether they’re coming or going. Either way, America deserves better than Schnauzers and Pugs.